Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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