Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So much Jack, so little girl.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize