She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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