I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
