So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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