Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize