I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
