I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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