Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
