I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
