I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
