Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
