I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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