doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
