Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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