What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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