I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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