After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
