Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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