i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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