the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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