she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
