two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
