Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
