dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
