Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
