Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
