1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
