Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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