Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
