You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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