a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
