dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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