there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
