Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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