Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
