Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
