once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
