Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
