she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
