Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
