I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I fill condoms, not promises.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
