doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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