Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize