She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
