Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
