we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You made out with two different species that night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize