is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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