theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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