I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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