Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
