dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
