tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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