after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
