honey bunches of taint.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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