Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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