i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
