He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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