my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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