chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
