i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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