you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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