This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Are my feet made of real feet?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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