omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
