No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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