So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
