Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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