felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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