Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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