69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
