I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
