He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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