He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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