Fuck appropriateness.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
