Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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