I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
