If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
