when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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